http://m.leesburgtoday.com/meredith-amonson/image_3bd71078-d66e-11e1-b06b-001a4bcf887a.html?mode=jqm
When that picture was taken...when that article was written, when I was awarded on of Loudoun County's Upcoming 30 under 30 year olds I had no clue the challenges ahead.
Fire
Death
Destruction
I try to stay positive but sometimes it's SO hard.
You have had some challenges. I tried the link, but only the picture comes up. It would be interesting to read the article, too.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
http://m.leesburgtoday.com/meredith-amonson/article_161d4c3a-d66e-11e1-b354-001a4bcf887a.html?mode=jqm
ReplyDeleteArticle?
That's it! Thank you. Nice article.
ReplyDeleteHow has your recovery from your fire been? Having also going through a house fire, I know full well how hard it is.
ReplyDeleteC.
Slow and full of anxiety of future fires. I fall asleep each night planning my and the animals escape. Paranoid of everything that could catch fire. I'm surprised I don't sleep with a fire extinguisher next to my bed...every night I promise myself I'll buy more when I can afford to.
DeleteAside from Ayrshire I haven't had a real stable living situation where I unpack...heck I didn't even unpack at Ayrshire. My storage trailer never left the driveway. We had issues about the treatment of the animals from the start and I was always at the ready to leave.
So...there is still smoke damaged stuff in this trailer that need a to be cleaned. Ugh that SMELL.
How are you doing rebuilding after yours? Does the fear of another ever go away?
I have PTSD from the fire. For the longest time, I was afraid to go to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw fire. I kept having nightmares about being in the house, and trying to find my cats. Losing my (5)cats was by far the worst part. I panic if I hear and kind of alarm. I was afraid to cook or bake, even though it wasn't a kitchen fire. I'm now at a point where I can cook and bake without fear.
DeleteWe had a 12yo Great Pyrenees at the time. I was able to get him out. Luckily, he was wearing a lift harness -http://helpemup.com/. I don't know that I could have gotten out without it. He kept trying to get back into the house and keeping the firefighters away. He was a totally different dog after the fire. No interest in food or walks or anything. I think he kept looking for the cats, they were his babies too. They would cuddle with him. He was a babysitter type.
After we got into an apartment, DH and I decided we couldn't be without a cat anymore, so we adopted. The new kitten would try to play with him, bringing him toys and such. He wouldn't acknowledge the kitten. He went down hill pretty fast. We put him down a few months after the fire, he was having trouble standing up by himself, and still wasn't eating much.
For that horrid smoke smell, the Red Cross gave us a recipe to get it out of clothes. 1 part Dawn, 1 part Tide, and 1 part Pine Sol. It takes a few cycles, but it works. I was able to get a stuffed dog that I've had since I was a baby, but he *reeked* of smoke. This wool wash got it out - http://soakwash.com/store/cdn_retail/soak-scentless.html
I have said that "we lost everything". While were able to get a few thing. Even losing our wedding pictures, the quilt my godmother made me when I was a baby, the financial loss, none of that could compare to losing my babies.
Emotionally, the fire was almost as hard as losing my dad 6mos ago. I lost about 15lbs in the first month or so because I could hardly keep any food down. Plus, my hair has been falling out.
I also had a miscarriage the year before. I'm not saying I'm happy out the miscarriage, I'm just saying that recovery, financial and otherwise would have been so much harder with a baby to care for. Anyway, the last few years have really sucked.
I'm so sorry you had to go through your fire. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
C.
C., I had a similar experience 6 yrs ago. House caught fire in the middle of the night, woke up to smoke everywhere at 2am, the house was pretty much gone before the local VFD got here. Lost several pets. I was afraid to leave for house for even 5 minutes for months after the fire. Nightmares, chronic stress, husband developed a raging alcohol problem which wasn't much help. Meredith, it might take a while, but the fear & anxiety DOES go away.
DeleteI couldn't take the smell of the few things I was able to salvage - I just tossed it all. It's hard enough w/o that constant reminder in your face. The few clothes I salvaged fell apart in the washing machine on the first wash; I'm guessing a result of smoke & water damage. There was nothing that survived the fire that I really wanted anyway.
That smell may never leave your psyche, but it does fade into the background eventually. Meredith, if the smoke-damaged things are items you really want to hang on to, can you barter work with someone who's willing to do some scrubbing, so you don't have to re-experience it? Trust me, the sooner you can get those items cleaned or gone, the easier it will be to move on. Smell is the strongest sensory trigger for most people.
On the upside (there can be one) I developed a whole new relationship with "stuff." Being rid of years and years of clutter was a relief in a way. Now the battle is to keep it from creeping back.
You're right C., it sucks, I would not wish the experience on anyone, but you can recover from it.
Anon 1:53 here again: something that really helped me was to surround myself with nice-smelling things. I'm partial to herbal & citrus smells, but whatever appeals to you. I started with a cheap sachet I found in a dollar store, and kept that tucked inside my pillowcase at night. Or sometimes just a lemon or an orange that I'd scraped up a bit on the rind. No scented candles/NO open flames! I now keep a little electric scent diffuser next to my bed (it's easier to explain away than to try and tell someone why you're stashing roughed-up fruit in your pillowcase - ha ha). I find it soothing for more than a few reasons. It sounds stupid, but it helps more than you might think.
DeleteWow! That is one very impressive resume!
ReplyDeleteIt's not much of a honor know that I know what a shit hole corrupt pos Loudoun County government and their media outlets are.
DeleteNow*
DeleteMeredith,
ReplyDeleteI would love a post on '10 things we didn't know about you'. There is so much more to you than meets the eye. I get the feeling you are very intelligent, a deep thinker, and perhaps spiritual but not religious.
Your life has taken so many unexpected turns. It's like you are literally being forged by fire. I hope there is a reason for all these misfortunes and that they strengthen you and lead you to your highest potential.
If you're still standing, you're winning.
ReplyDelete"The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it.
Those women are my superheroes." Elizabeth Gilbert