Care to share you're experiences?
What led you to be a "better" person?
Letting go, how did you do it?
I have so much work to do!
Not letting go of fighting for the pigs at Ayrshire Farm, but working towards clarity and fighting with love and peace not rage and hate.
Love and peace influences...the other will not.
I had one recently. It had to do with a dog. Changed me.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to study Gandhi. He won independence for India without firing a shot. His enemies said the most frustrating thing about him was that they found it impossible to hate him. Yes, even his enemies liked and respected him.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most readable books on how Gandhi was able to accomplish what he did through non-violent means is "Gandhi the man" by Eknath Easwaran. He visited Gandhi because he wanted to learn the secret of his power. This is a great book for beginners and I highly recommend it.
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ReplyDeleteI became a mother. That changed it all. Suddenly I had to let go of the things that were not important and fight the causes that were, so I could make a better world for my child. But because children take up a huge amount of energy, it forced me to let go of the things that weren't serving any purpose.
ReplyDeleteThe part about letting go of things that don't serve you, I think, is very true. Relationships, thought patterns, habits etc.....are these things causing more harm than good. Would I be better off putting my energy into something else?
DeleteI also sometimes consider what my future self will think, the 90 year old version of me, when I take stock of the life I have lived.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” -- Annie Dillard, The Writing Life
What makes you think you need to be a "better" person and by whose definition have you fallen short?
ReplyDelete"Love and peace influences...the other will not."
Explain the Third Reich, ISIS, The Spanish Inquisition, The Crusades.......
When confronted with cruelty and injustice the only rational response is anger leading to action.
All that being said, I may be misinterpreting what you're saying.
I found the mantra "let go or be dragged". I tend to obsess over things, people, situations. Almost as if the harder I think about it, a solution will arise. Sure there is a time and place for deep reflection. But obsessive thoughts about fixing an unfixable person or situation in the past is wasted energy. I picture the problem being a car and me holding onto the rear bumper being dragged by the problem. Sounds so silly typing this out but it really really helps me. Sometimes I find there are problems I'm willing to be dragged by. But usually I just find I'm being foolish. Let go or be dragged. I sometimes have to say it to myself dozens or hundreds of times a day.
ReplyDeleteMeeting lots of people from different backgrounds and seeing that most of them were good people. Sometimes a difference of opinion was a matter of lack of education, ignorance or lack of real world experience. If you could find a way to diplomatically explain an issue so that they could understand it, you could help them open their eyes. It had to be a two way street though. I had to be willing to understand their point of view and not see issues as black and white. I found that my own opinions have changed with time. Mostly, that change has been accepting that many issues have no right or wrong answer.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it was finally getting to the point where I could no longer put up with a toxic work environment. My need for financial security is what kept me there. One day, I had a meltdown after work. I had to get out. I no longer cared what the decision to leave meant to my fiscal health. I literally had to leave in order to preserve my mental and physical health. Six months later, I am in a much happier place. I have a new job I truly enjoy. I am also taking proper care of myself. I am still learning to let go. Cutting the toxic people from the former job completely out of my life has helped. My sense of self-worth is gradually returning as I talk to people about what happened. I have made peace a few things in my past as part of the healing process. People remark at how much lighter I look these days (and we're not talking weight!).
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience with a toxic work environment. I just could. not. do. it. That led to self-employment for me. I work harder than ever, but am also happier than ever. Even though I'm always on the edge financially, I would never go back to work for someone else.
DeleteI run a side business and was going to take it full time until I found my current job through word of mouth. It has worked out well so far. I work for the same organization, just a different division/location. I need to work a little while longer to vest in the retirement plan. I have definitely decided to do contract work or expand my business should things change in the future. I have been sock ing away extra $$ so I won't feel the need to stay in a bad environment. Never again.
DeleteHave to ask how you all got past the financial fear of quitting.
DeleteAlthough I like my job and the people and Board I work with I am pretty much a one woman show. While everyone else leaves at the end of the day and board members go on vacations I'm here pounding away.
I'm exhausted, ready to shit can the whole thing, but terrified of being unemployed. Been there during the recession and it took me 2 years to find any job, seriously, and 3 years to find this one.
I look at all the things I liked to do as just one more draw on my time...I hate that!
I think I finally realized that there is no such thing as job security when my teacher friends were laid off during the recession. Since then, I've worked to get out (and stay out) of debt. I have an emergency fund that could tide me over for several months if I'm very, very careful. Health insurance used to be the big draw to remain employed, but since I can get it on the open market, that no longer bothers me. It's just so freaking expensive. That's my biggest concern.
DeleteI'm out of debt except for my house, and I'm madly trying to pay that off. My emergency fund could float me for about 6-months and my health ins is cheaper than any Obamacare policy. I agree about everything being expensive. I would be so much better off with a paid off mortgage and no prop taxes.
DeleteFor me, my paradigm changed when I had the opportunity to travel outside of my comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I saw real poverty.... REAL struggle.... my view of the world changed.
Now, when I hear coworkers or friends moaning and complaining about a flat tire, a head cold, waiting in line at Starbucks, I can't take them seriously, and I've let go of several relationships once I saw how shallow they are.
The other thing that really changed me was the first time I went camping alone. Four days without talking to anyone gave me a stark opportunity for introspection, and I think I mentally "cleaned house". I might try and do that again soon, it's been too long and I've had a rough year.
Best wishes for peace, for you.
~A