ALL-THE-TIME
I used to get a little defensive or hurt at the "you have to be a mother, wife, and/or whatever have you that I'm not...to understand"
As if my perspective opinion thoughts suggestions sorrys or even congratulationa are unwelcome not being in said club.
Not saying it's always the case, but there is bearing to the statement about understanding.
That's how I feel about farming. Unless you are or have "farmed" (ranch, dairy, crops, etc) in a similar fashion (heart mind body blood sweat tears hot humid rain or snow mud droughts life death money and equipment planning revising learning unlearning people plants animals oh my!) I feel your words carry less weight.
It's wrong.
A compliment or observation should be taken rather than scrutinized for credibility.
Much of my family participates in CrossFit. I'm in awe and think they work hard. I'm genuine in my cheer for them even with no understanding of the program or physical extent they push themselves...but I don't want to be brushed off for the person who "gets" it.
Hmmm, what I'm trying to suss out is this automatic response I find myself spewing rather than a simple thank you for acknowledging my hard work...somehow I feel the need to defensively insist you are right, even though as a not farmer you can't possibly understand?!
Example, maybe those who commented on Bellys slaughter saying they couldn't slaughter their loved livestock do understand (maybe better than "fellow" farmers) the difficulty, loss, deception and sliver of pride that comes with voluntarily ending a healthy animals life because people's taste buds especially enjoy the taste of delicious happily raised pork (and providing an alternative meat concept and source to CAFOs that will only survive with consumer support).
I pledge to embrace people and our wildly different lives!
There are only two eyes viewing the world from my stubborn often overbearing rose colored glasses...and thats a sure course to alienating ones self from the unexpected joys often found in our differences.
I think people can empathize without necessarily having a complete understanding. I have never lost a 4-year old child to cancer, but can certainly empathize with someone who has. It's impossible for most people to understand what we're going through, because our challenges are unique to who we are. So all we can do is try and empathize, and support as best we can.
ReplyDeleteOnce I unloaded a semi-truck of baled hay. Can that exercise compare with CrossFit? Before reading this post I never heard of CrossFit.
ReplyDeleteBelly seemed more like a pet than livestock. No, I could not slaughter my pet bunny, but other people slaughter and eat rabbit regularly. After watching factory farm videos, I mostly stopped eating meat, which came from the supermarket. I think my physical and mental health improved.
Loosing a pet is devastating, like loosing a valued person. You need time to grieve your loss. I wished you had some alternative to keep Belly as a companion.